Waiting for Eden

2010-12-15T20:10:00.001-06:00

Family Story Christmas Card

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Shutterfly Deal!!!!

2010-11-06T09:10:00.004-05:00

I have to share a fabulous deal i've found.
...one that you, too, can partake in.
so, here's my fabulous plug/shout out...
shutterfly has a spectacular offer for the blogging world...and i bet pretty soon i'm going to see blog posts just like mine popping up in all my favorite world-wide-web locations! right now, Bloggers get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly, just hit that link ---> http://bit.ly/sfly2010 ...and seriously, who doesn't want 50 free holiday cards?!? that's 1/2 of my stack for free!
i've used shutterfly many times...
for example, I sent out Aden's birthdya cards and announcements using this announcement http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/4x8-flat-photo-cards/birthday-castle-birthday-4x8-photo-card-4x8-photo

well, i've been thinking about ideas for what i'd like the pictures to look like...i'm thinking that aden and i will be together in the photo and dressed up in our sunday best. but i DO know, that i've found the card i like. http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/family-wall-noir-christmas-card-5x7-flat?sortType=1&storeNode=93476&fc=1 hello! it has space for a LOT of pics and I love multiple photoes.

i also like the idea of a family newsletter http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/our-ornaments-story-christmas-card-5x7-flat?sortType=2&storeNode=93479 so, now that i've shown you mine, i wanna see yours! hop onto shutterfly's blogger deal for yourself http://blog.shutterfly.com/5358/holiday2010-blog-submission-form/ and in just a few short days, you too can be pickin' out your holiday cards...there are, after all, there are less than 60 more days until christmas!!
and just because you DO deserve an update...
here's a pic i took of my kkiddo ...

American Girl Place

2010-07-06T09:34:00.002-05:00

Here's a recent pic of me and mini-me at the American Girl Place. It's currently my fav.

Aden's Bday

2010-07-06T09:30:00.004-05:00

Okay, I've decided to stop apologizing for not updating the blog. I discovered FB and that was the end of this blog. If anyone wants to friend me on FB, please leave a message on the blog. I just find FB easier than blogging.

Here's a couple of pics of the bday party as promised.

Easter 2010

2010-04-09T22:04:00.004-05:00

Here's a few pics from our first Easter. I'm getting ready for Ad's bday party and very tired, but thought I would add a few pics before I turned in for the night.

Occasional Updates

2010-03-22T10:02:00.003-05:00

Okay, I decided that I should just abandon my blog. I will try to post on here occasionally.

We had a very exciting weekend in our little house. Aden took her first steps. It's so amazing to watch her turn into a toddler. She was such a baby when I first got her. She could hardly sit up, but now she's about to start walking. I have been truly blessed with this child. She's so bright, independent and a total ham. She's more than I could have ever hoped for. It was so hard to leave my old agency, and I suffered an incredible financial loss, but I'm so ecstatic that I did. I think that my baby was loved and provided for, and that's worth a fortune.

I am currently planning her first bday. We are doing a Princess theme and it's coming along nicely. I'll be sure to post pics of the party and Aden in her first easter dress.

Aden

2009-12-31T10:24:00.004-06:00

Hi Blog World,

I guess you can all guess that this blog no longer exist. I was really excited about documenting my journey to Aden, but my old agency ruined that experience. I have been grown for quite a long time, so I'm not so good with someone telling me what to do. I'm not into the big brother experiecne, especially when I'm paying ppl my money.

In April 2009, I left BFAS. It was not the place for me and not the place for my potential child. My soul has been free since the day I decided to part ways with them. I guess I need to let them know that I'm no longer a client, but I have no desire to even speak to them. I may drop an email. I was hoping one of their spies (clients) would tell them for me.

Anyway, on November 3, 2009, I became the mother of the most beautiful little girl in the world. Here's a pic. I adopted her thru Illien Adoptions. I applied to Illien in April. My dossier was complete on June 18th. I recieved my referral on September 15th and passed court on November 3rd. On December 5, 2009, my little girl was in my arms. Aden is the healthiest of kids. No giardia, no ringworm, no parasites, no lice and she is meeting her developmental milestones.

I suggest that ppl chose their agency wisely. THere is no reason for some of the things that happen. THe excuse of it's Ethiopia, is no excuse.

I wish all of you well on your journeys.

Bad Blogger

2009-07-13T11:25:00.002-05:00

I really am not a bad blogger, but this adoption thing has gone crazy. I should have done some things differently from the start. I have realized there there are more impt things in the journey than getting my baby home as soon as possible. I have learned that when someone does not have an answer to a simple question, you simply should not be bothered with them.

I have no idea when this trip down adoption lane will end; however, I remain hopeful that my girl is at the end of this road waiting for me.

Can't wait to we are AAH.....

CNN Series on Black in America

2009-07-08T16:41:00.003-05:00

CNN has published a few articles as a lead up to its black in america, part 2 series. I have to post the other one when I have time. It was about single black women adopting. It was good in some points, but peppered with some ignorance that I did not understand the need to include. All folks have some crazy ppl in their group, why are our crazy ppl used as the standard? It's like everything about us has to have an asteric....* they are doing good but let me toss this in so that everyone remembers that the good is an anamoly and they are really for the most part beyond redemption.

I digress. I thought it was cute that the Dad, who is white, does the hair combing of his AA daughter. I have never seen a black man "do" a girl's hair and would probably faint from the shock if I did. It's just not done. Maybe grab the hair and put it in a ponytail, but anything more than that, and he's driving across town to mama, sister, cousin, or any other woman before he would heaven forbid, comb hair!!!! :)

Ladies, you can pass this article to your man and see if it will get them in the kitchen on Sunday night.

When Clifton Green and his wife adopted an adorable little girl from Ethiopia, they knew they would eventually have to deal with the hair issue.

The Atlanta, Georgia-based couple, who are white, had read books about transracial adoptions that addressed how to deal with Miriam's springy curls that grew in full, dark and strong after a toddlerhood of baldness.
Green took it upon himself to learn how to care for and style his daughter's textured tresses.
"We didn't have any skills, but we had the desire," said Green of learning to do his now 5-year-old daughter's hair. "It's the culture, it's important and we want to honor it and respect it."
For many African-Americans, having a child walk around with unkempt hair is an almost unpardonable sin.

[I thought this part was funny...The whispering words would be, her momma is so awful she don't even comb that child's hair. She needs her a-- beat for letting that child out the house with her hair all over her damn head. She got her out here looking like a homeless person.]

That desire to be well groomed extends into adulthood and the multitudes of hairstyles are as diverse as the black community itself.
There are naturals, weaves, chemically relaxed styles, braids and dreadlocks, to name just a few.
Far from being superficial, black hair and its care goes well beyond the multibillion-dollar industry it has become and is deeply rooted in African-American identity and culture.
'Black in America 2'
In July, Soledad O'Brien investigates what African-Americans are doing to confront the most challenging issues facing their communities. You'll meet people who are using groundbreaking solutions in innovative ways to transform the black experience. July 22 & 23, 8 p.m. ET
see full schedule »
"Barbershops and beauty salons are perhaps second only to black churches as institutions in the community," said Ingrid Banks, an associate professor of Black Studies at University of California, Santa Barbara and author of a forthcoming book on contemporary black beauty salon culture. iReporters share their hair-stories »
"It's not about hair per se, it's about what hair means, particularly for black women in terms of racial identity, identity based on gender and ideas about power," she said. "On one level, hair matters because race matters in our society. For black people, our hair has been infused with these racial politics."
Banks points to the ideas, which continue to linger, that if a black woman straightens her hair she is "selling out the race" and/or "embracing the white standard of beauty" while women who wear their hair in natural styles are "blacker than thou."
"When we think about that, there is no other racial or ethnic group in which those ideas come to bear on someone's politics," said Banks, who gathered data for her book by traveling to black hair salons across the country. "No one is saying that about white women, Asian women or Latino women."
Erin Aubry Kaplan, who wrote an article about Michelle Obama's hair and its implications for Salon.com, believes the first lady's straightened and perfectly coiffed style helps her image.
"She has been criticized about many things, but I think that underneath the criticism about her being radical or too outspoken about race is this uneasiness people have about her being this tall, dark-skinned woman," Kaplan said. "So her hair is important, because if she is tall, dark-skinned and has an Afro then she becomes really scary." Sound off: Is there such a thing as 'good hair?'
That unease was also evident in 2008 when The New Yorker magazine ran a cover with a drawing portraying Michelle Obama wearing an Angela Davis-style Afro while fist bumping her turban wearing husband.
"[The cover] I think was meant to poke fun at what people really fear," said Kaplan, who added that as a black woman who does not have kinky hair, she has had her own share of issues. "I understood the intent, but we aren't at the point where we can laugh at black images, because every black image resonates and reflects on black people as a whole."
Robert Morris can relate to the perceptions that black hair can evoke.
The CNN iReporter recently cut the dreadlocks he had been growing for years and said that along with the physical makeover came an attitude shift in how people responded to him. Check out Morris' iReport on his change
"I wasn't as approachable when I had the locks," said Morris, who now sports a shorter, cropped do that he is enjoying. "It seemed like I had the stigma of being 'the angry black man.' "
People's possible reactions to hair caused another iReporter to lose sleep.
Don't Miss
Sound off: Perceptions, misconceptions about black hair?
iReport.com: Share your hair-story
Chris Rock gets to the root of 'Good Hair'
In Depth: Black in America
Tamille Johnson said her decision to get kinky twists kept her up the night before her visit to the salon. Read Johnson's concerns in her iReport
"It was really surprising to me because I was so afraid what people would think about them and I didn't think I would feel that way," Johnson said. "Whenever I would get my hair done, I would get straight styles and I did not know if people would think that the kinky style was pretty."
Johnson, an administrator at UC Berkeley, said she found the experience to be soul searching and she came to terms with the fact that as long as she thought her hair was beautiful, that was all that mattered.
That attitude is one Renae Valdez-Simeon hopes to impart to her two daughters. Because her children are biracial, Valdez-Simeon said she has often heard comments about her children's "good hair." Go to Valdez-Simeon's iReport
"When a child has straight hair, they are told they have 'good hair' and while people aren't telling children with curly hair that they have 'bad hair,' in essence that is what you are saying because you are saying that straight hair is good hair," Valdez-Simeon said.
Valdez-Simeon, whose site Mixtkids.com is billed as "One Mom's journey to raise empowered mixed-race children," said she has increasingly heard the comments because her 7-year-old sports tight, curly ringlets while her 1-year-old's hair has yet to curl. "I try to explain to people that good hair is not straight hair, it's healthy hair," said Valdez-Simeon, who also said all of the comments have come from African-Americans.
Comedian Chris Rock saw the same attitudes in his young daughters and it helped motivate his new documentary "Good Hair."
The film is narrated by Rock and explores black hair from a variety of angles, including the booming $9 billion generated by the black hair industry and the science behind chemical relaxers used to straighten hair.
Rock also visited the Bronner Bros. International Hair Show in Atlanta, a twice-a-year event that has been in existence since the company started in 1947.
Janet Wallace, hair show manager, said as many as 50,000 attendees have come annually to each of the events to see the latest trends, services and products available.
Stylists and the public alike are enthralled by the art form that is hairstyling, Wallace said.
"People want to look good from the cradle to the grave," Wallace said. "Hair is fun because there are so many adornments and things you can do with it."
Green acknowledges that he has not reached that level of artistry yet, but takes pride in styling his daughter's hair well.
On weekends, the Emory University professor can be found wielding the various combs, brushes and products he has found that work for Miriam's hair (Carol's Daughter is a favorite at the moment).
While he said he's still not that good with "rows," the cornrow style that braids the hair close to the scalp, he can work other braided styles, twists and an occasional French braid.
The ritual of doing Miriam's hair is not only a time of bonding for the pair, but also an opportunity for him to honor his daughter and her heritage.
Green has kept his sense of humor about the many people who express surprise that he is so well educated about and skilled with black hair.
"I don't want people to look at her and tell she has white parents," he said, laughing.

Subtle, yet Powerful

2009-06-10T13:14:00.002-05:00

This young man was granted a visit to the White House and asked a simple enough question to our President. “Can he feel his hair, to see if it felt just like his?”

...I almost labelled this post hair doesn't matter...LOL!!!

As for the adoption, I know I have been an awful blogger. I just believe how this process has changed for me. I went in so happy and optimistic, but now I'm just saddened by humanities ability to be callous. I thought this would be a blog to share all the joys of my process, but there just haven't been enough to even bother. Maybe that will change? I'm hoping that will change. I have considered saving a few thoughts and publishing them when this process has moved to a better place, but so far no energy to even do that.

I have a trial that is coming up on July 8, 2009 and I have to get it together for that. There are ppl who are counting on me to devote my attention to their case, but it's so hard to concentrate. I see a lot of late nights and weekends at the office if I don't get it together at work soon. Oh well, what can you do? Well, I guess I could more diligent about work, but it's like my brain has turned to mush. Until next time...

Trying to Believe

2009-05-02T22:48:00.003-05:00

I'm trying to believe that this journey will actually end with me bringing my child home. I was blog watching today and saw a post that caused me to consider what to do when meeting baby girl for the first time. I have not decided how I will approach that process. I think I will start reading lots of books on the first meeting and initial transition. This post ask a PAP to consider the first meeting from the child's prospective. I believe this post is from someone who perhaps adopted from Korea where the child is placed in a foster home and escorted, but can be applied to various adoption journies....

A Different Perspective
Immense Loss; Walk a Mile in Baby’s Booties

Imagine for a moment…You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man.

You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.More time passes.

One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.He leads you to a car and drives you to another location.

Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.--

Written by Cynthia Hockman-Chupp, analogy courtesy of Dr. Kali Miller

Shocked

2009-04-29T14:32:00.003-05:00

I have been a little surprised with the responses I have received about my last post, both public and private. I didn't know there were so many of us out there!!

I can tell you all who think that I have lost my mind, that I have in fact found it. I have reconnected with the little girl who survived one of the poorest ghettos in Chicago, and that doesn't happen by being afraid. I have explained to the necessary parties, that I will say whatever I want, wherver and to whomever I want. I will also inquire about any policy or procedure that I feel like in whatvr forum I choose. I am fully prepared to deal with whatever occurs from that decision. But I refuse to continue to live like this. I have made it clear that I have certain expectations, which are not unreasonable, and I expect them to be met. If you want to play with the big boys, you have to deliver like the big boys.

When does getting what you want mean that you have given up who you are?

2009-04-28T09:38:00.003-05:00

Hi Blog World,

It has been so long since we have talked. I think that I have had nothing to say, because I have not been me. I allowed myself to continue down a path that I never imagined setting foot on, let alone walk with ignorance and fear.

Have you ever just wanted something so badly that you don't care how it comes to you? But there is a reason for the rules. As a federal attorney, I always have to be extra diligent that I follow those rules. There are things that I can not be involved in or even have knowledge of.

I have been afraid. I can't believe I am saying those words, but they are true. WHat's worse, I have been afraid of standing up for me and what I believe in. That is the saddest place a person can be. I am usually confident, proud and stubborn. So much so, that I may have to spend time in purgatory for those weaknesses. But it's who I am and I have always been proud of who I am. But not for these last few months.

I have allowed my desire for something to cloud my vision and blur my lines between right and wrong. NO MORE!!! It's time I returned to being a member of the Court and someone who has sworn to uphold the laws of this Government.

Aren't you a Family?

2009-03-11T14:02:00.004-05:00

Hi Blog World,

I didn't post an updated pic this week. No real reason. Just didn't feel like it. I plan on getting it together this week.

Okay, I've been reading today about ppl who have family members who reject them because they have adopted a black child (well, not that most will refer to their child as black if they come from AFRICA). WTF?? I won't even get into that nonsense because it makes my head hurt. Anyway, I just can't believe that a FAMILY would function that way. Not to brag or anything, but I was a great child!!! I couldn't imagine anyone not wanting me because of my race. It's the craziest thing I have ever heard of. It just goes to show you how deep this racism thing really is. So incredibly sad. A child's skin color to some ppl eqaul not worthy of being in your home and loved as one of your own? But I bet some of these same ppl would say that no one in this country is judged by race and we all have the same oppurtunities.

I have a huge extended family and couldn't imagine ONE of them ceasing to speak to me because they didn't agree with a decision I made in life that didn't involve physical harm to another. And I mean not one thing!!! They would tease and talk about me, but would never cut me out. I don't even know of anyone who has ever been cut out from their family completely. I know ppl who are only allowed in the kitchen because they have bad habits that have caused them to not be trusted around valueables, but no one would ever think they couldn't come for Christmas. THEY ARE FAMILY AFTER ALL!! Maybe it's cultural thing, and I'll admit that my world is mostly AA, but I have never heard of such a thing.

I thought about what would happen if I adopted a non-black child, and the answer was nothing. Don't get me wrong, black folks can be as prejudiced as anyone else, and my family is old school proud of their race, proud of their culture, and proud of being American traditional AA who have been in this country and can trace our ancestors within this country back to the 1700s. Which also means that they can be a little untrustworthy of anyone who is not black. So, I know there would be talk if I adopted a non-black child, but cutting me off would be beyond anything any of them would ever imagine. I would hear tons of gossip about how I had lost my mind but that would even fade after a bit of time. The child would be just another member of our family, so what if she was white, she's family now. The closest example is a cousin who does not seem as if he is genetically my uncle's child. My uncle asked my grandfather if he should get a paternity test. The child is five now. My grandfather asked him why would he get such a test since he's family now and a test ain't gonna change that. Family is family!

I just don't get it. I feel so sorry for ppl who have had that happen to them, or even have to worry that that's a possibility. But at the same time, I'm a little scared for the kids they are bringing into such a family. I know some folks think we make it up, but the black experience in this country is challenging and country of origin and economic status will not make anyone's child immune. They may not present themselves for years, but they will be there and it's dangerous to pretend they won't. Not to say that all ppl don't have challenges, but most of my white friends walk thru this world as an individual. I walk thru this world as a black woman with all the good and bad that institutional racism has bestowed upon me. And trust me, it's worse for a black man.

I can't remember where, but I saw a post about how a black family reacted very strongly when a white person called their 3 year old a n----r. It was obvious that the child was not upset until they say their family member upset, and the child remembered the incident, but wondered if it would have been no big deal if the adults didn't provide meaning to the word. My thought was this: I grew up with the full knowledge that my family would never let anyone do me harm even if I didn't understand the harm at the time. I ask, what would it have been like for that child to grow up knowing that their family allowed someone to say such a thing to them and not defend them 100%? For me, it's far worse to have taught a child that there is an ugly word than to have a child one day learn that their parents let someone insult them without coming to their defense. But I was raised to be a soldier who is capable of walking thru this world with her head held high, and with the full knowledge that no one gets away with treating you badly. Again, maybe that's not something that others are taught to place much value upon??

Week 5

2009-02-26T11:14:00.008-06:00

We are on week five of our wait and not really sure when the wait will end. Too many unknowns in the world of adoption. IN MY OPINION, I'm not thinking that she will be home before November. Others are welcome to come up with their own estimate. It's very disheartening to say goodbye to all of my dreams that I had for uniting with her, but I would rather be realistic than an Ostrich. I pray that I'm wrong and she is here sooner, but I'm prepared for the long haul. Others feel free to feel however YOU want about when you will be united with your children. It's a shame that you have to point that out to adults, but someitmes I think that some folks are more like tall children than they are grown ups.

As for the pic, this is me, my grandfather's younger brother and his youngest son. This was after I decided to play salon and cut off my bangs. My momma behaved as if I had chopped off an arm. It was not a good day for me as a baby girl. My parents were so upset and have never forgiven me. According to my mom, my bangs never grew back because an unnecessary cut is a curse.

I'm also in my signature hair ribbons. Most of the kiddies in school wore beads and barrettes, but I was always in ribbons. They were the lightest hair accessory that my mom could find, and of course she believed in limiting any stress on my hair. Because of the flood, this is one of the few pics I have with my signature ribbons. It was my everyday hairstyle and would not have been used for formal pics. Because we were broke and didn't know many ppl who owned a camera, most of my pics were taken on "picture day", so only a few ribbon to match the outfits pictures survived. Also, the signature hand is on the hip because a photo was being snapped.

Week 4

2009-02-20T09:30:00.009-06:00

Well blog world, I think we have to prepare for a much longer wait than anticipated. Just a new adjustment in the world of IA. I hope to do some travelling this summer to take my mind off of this.

Here we have a picture from me at my pre-K graduation. I was four years old because my mom fudged my birth certificate to get me in school a year early. When I told her that parents keep their kids out for a year, she was shocked. In my house it was all about being competitive and doing it faster than everyone else. For my parents, doing anything that put me behind someone else was unthinkable.

The HAIR!!!! I remember this day because it was a big deal in our house. My grandma did not like the dress my mom bought for graduation, so she took me to a dress maker and had a dress made. My pre-K was across the street from grandparent's so I spent the night with them. My mom had sent me over to her house with my hair in ponytails and ribbons to match the dress. I was supposed to sleep with my scarf and wake up and go to the graduation with grandma and family and my parents would meet us there. That night, my grandma decided that she would put me under the hair dryer and let me wear my hair down, which I had never been allowed to do. It was a disaster.

My parents are long hair ppl. They both believed that a girl and woman should try to do her best to have hair that was at least to her shoulders. They didn't know a lot about hair follicles and the sort, but they were more hair observant than anyone you've ever met. They had looked around and knew what a person needed to do to a kid to make sure as a grown up she had hair. So we had rules in our house about hair. First, hair is almost never cut and only trimmed occasionally. Second, kiddie relaxers were invented by the devil and only serve to ruin a child's hair. When I would beg for one, my mom would say look around, so and so had a kiddie perm and now she ain't got no hair or her hair line is receeding. You want to be bald headed when you get older? If I pointed to someone who I knew who had managed to survive a kiddie perm, they would both just say, she's lucky, you don't get to take the chance. They would only agree to allowing a relaxer after I was thirteen becuase then my body and hair should be able to hanlde it by then. They believed, and so do I, that estrogen in a girl's body changes everything, including her hair, and you should wait until that adjusment before introducing something as permanent as a chemical. Third, heat to the hair of any kind was only permitted on special occasions, and only when you're over eight years old. Fourth, all those hair thingies and small braids in kids' hair are ghetto and cause extra weight on the hair. Extra weight causes damage to the follicle, damage to the follicle causes hair loss, and hair loss is of course evil. Finally, hair additions are not allowed. See fourth rule about weight on hair and then add plastic to the equation. Hair was not meant to be surrounded in anything but the things that grew naturally around it. Hair extensions can led to hair thinnign and hair thinning can lead to .....well, you see where I'm going with this.

Back to the pic...My grandma could care less about hair. She hated doing her hair and hated that she had two girls and had to do their hair. She did her best to teach her girls that hair was not impt and should be cut short so you don't have to bother with it. My aunt feels the same way. My mom thought my grandma was out of her mind. My grandma would try to cut her hair off and she would lock herself in the bathroom until my grandfather came home from work and told my grandma to let her keep her hair if she wants to. By the way, my mom is the oldest, so you just can't say what you can and can not get your kids to think of as unimportant.

Grandma knew my mom and dad were "hair people", it was one of thier favorite subjects and what attracted them to each other. As my mom's friends tell me, my mom and dad had the best fros in school and they knew it. So grandma knew she couldn't press out my hair for her big day, but she thought she could get around it by putting me under the hood dryer. That way my parents couldn't say that she put direct heat on my hair. Grandma did not count on the fact that I have the frizziest hair in the world and you have to straighten it "for real" or not at all. So it turned into a puff ball and that's how I went to graduation. My grandma not really caring much about hair thought it was fine. My parents showed up and hit the roof!!!! They couldn't believe that the whole family was there and they had their perfect fros and their baby was walking around with a lopsided puff ball on top of her head. I remember my grandma sayign, she's cute what's wrong, she's cute.

My dad never forgave her for it. He says that my grandmother never had hair and doesn't know anythign about hair. He blames her for ruining my hair and says that her putting me under the dryer at too young of an age ruined it for the rest of my life. When I would ask him for money to go get my hair relaxed, he would say you wouldn't need to do that if it wasn't for your grandma. Me and ma had a plan for your hair and she messed it up. We don't put relaxer in our hair, my mom doesn't relax her hair, if it weren't for your grandma you wouldn't need to either. I would just roll my eyes and tell him that heat is not good, but one time didn't change my hair for the rest of my life. But of course, my dad doesn't take hair advice from ppl that don't have hair, so he never listened to me.

So that's my puff ball story...chat at you all next week...

Paternal Grandma

2009-02-16T11:27:00.003-06:00

So to make sure it doesn't look like I'm playing favorites. Here is a pic of me with my paternal grandma. It was taken on the same night as the previous pic.

Week 3

2009-02-12T10:49:00.002-06:00

Nothing new to report. Nothing new to say. Only feel nothing.

Here I am at around 3 posing for the camera at my paternal grandmothers. I may post a pic with the two of us together, especially since I gave maternal grandma some face time.

Week 2

2009-02-05T09:26:00.003-06:00

Okay, here is the pic from me at the age of two. I was in my inflattable pool in my grandparents front yard. The hand on the hip thing is something that me, my mom, aunt, and girl cousins do. We learned it from my grandmother. I sometimes find myself doing the left hand on left hip pose and have to stop myself. Also, this is the first pic of me with my bangs in a sponge roller. My mom thought I had the largest forehead in the world and was always trying to cover it with bangs. But the curl would never stay so I always had the roller in the front of my head. I don't know why no one realized that the thing they were doing to cover up my "forehead situation" was actually calling attention to it. Unfortunately, the roller on top of my head will be repeated in this trip down memory lane. We didn't stop that little project until I was old enough to say no more.

The other pic is my grandmother who taught us all that a camera flash equals hand on hip with a big cheesy grin.

No update on my timeline. I inquired about a specific child with my agency but have not heard back from them. It was a bit of a long shot anyway. But it would have been nice to even get a no, as opposed to no answer at all. Still no movement from the top of our list. Very scary, but what can you do? I'm hoping we will have a week with like 5 five referrals!!!! Praying that Kelly W and Holly F get news of a referral tomorrow. It seems that our agency likes Friday referrals.

Officially Waiting

2009-01-29T18:18:00.004-06:00

The day that I started to think would never happen has finally arrived. I am now officially waiting!!! I am so grateful that the paperchase has ended. Unfortunately, I really have no idea when I will have the baby. My tiny agency has gone from 18 clients to 100!!! I know, I was looking for a small agency and did not want a mid-size agency, but life happens. I have made my peace with these changes and hope that my journey resolves soon.

I'm stealing an idea from Robbin. So, every week of my wait, I will be posting a pic of my self that corresponds to the age of my waiting week. Unfortunately, our house flooded and most of my pics were lost. There will be some weeks when I will not post the pic of me at that age, but I will provide an explanation for the pic I have posted instead. I will probably only provide the weekly updates from this point on. I'm going to try to not become completely obsessed during this wait.

Enjoy the pic of me at one one. I am one and in my easter dress standing in front of my paternl aunt. Please don't laugh at the black sandals and white socks, I don't know why that was considered acceptable.

Presidential Neighbor

2009-01-21T13:28:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, was an amazing culmination of an impossible dream. I never thought in my lifetime that I would see this country as a whole unite behind a black man as its leader. In this dark time where our men face such a difficult climb and our women have been regulated to stereotypes, this is quite an achievement.

I don't want this blog to be too heavy, so that's all I will say on that subject.

But on a lighter note, I used to live no more than two blocks from Obama. Prior to going down this baby path, I lived in the cutest condo in the incredible south side, black middle class hamlit known as Hyde Park. President Obama and his family lived about two blocks from me (pretty sure my dog has done his business on the President's lawn :)).

Stalker

2009-01-20T15:13:00.001-06:00

So, there are a few families that have adopted little girls from ET and I am completely stalking them. I am absolutely in love with their kids. I know that this blog will be closed off from the public soon after baby girl is home, but I love it that others are willing to share.

Here is a pic of a little one that I'm in love with. She reminds me of myself as a toddler. I have so many photos of myself with head tilted and flirting with the camera.

I have cleared the last barrier to my dossier being sent to ET. I was told that it should by the end of the week. Can't wait to have that process over with. Now all we need is some referrals!!! Apparently, there are lots of electrical and travel issues that can complicate and lengthen the process for my agency, join me in praying for their resolution.

I'll let you all know when i'm "officially waiting".

New Car Day!!!

2009-01-17T20:42:00.003-06:00

I got my new CAR!!!! I haven't had a new car in eight years and cars are sweet now!!! This car is fully loaded and was an incredible deal. The dealer almost gave it away. I looked at Edmunds and I paid less for this car from a dealer than what I should have paid a private party. My baby is pictured in this post. He's a beauty. I'm naming him "Regal", the case from hell that has taken over my life for the last year.

Too Cute!!!

2009-01-12T16:35:00.003-06:00

Nothing new to report. Still waiting to see if my dossier has been approved. I was told not to expect anything before the end of the month. But on another note, I got the cutest dress this weekend. I have recently lost 10 pounds and haven't updated my clothes (making sure it's a long term loss and tyring to save for Ms. Aden's arrival). I decided to treat myself to a dress for next new year's to make sure that I had incentive to not put any weight back on. I think I should make it. I have another mini-brief due on Friday and that usually adds a pound or two. Going to try to keep it under control.

Dirty Dancing

2009-01-02T20:43:00.002-06:00

I'm going to see the play tomorrow afternoon. I'm really looking forward to it. I was addicted to the movie in my tweens. The play should hopefully be a good distraction. I have been on vacation for two weeks and his is enough for me. I have become addicted to the internet. If I had a referral, I would have spent a fortune by now.

So, the dossier did not happen for today. My SW returns from yet another vacation on Tuesday so I plan on leaving work early and picking up two copies of my home study. I will then send it out two day mail to BFAS!!!! Hopefully that means I will be on the wait list soon...

Will give you folks an update on Tuesday...

By Next Week

2008-12-31T11:40:00.002-06:00

Hi All,

I just got great news. I am either going to send off my completed dossier tomorrow or Tuesday. I can't wait to become "officially waiting". It has been so difficult to watch my tiny little agency grow and see my spot being taken over.

Unfortunately, there haven't seemed to be any little girl referrals on the group for like three weeks. I was hoping we would have had one a week. I'm not really sure why things have come to a standstill.

I have decided to go with the Lexus SUV. It was voted best overall value for a crossover vehicle. I haven't had a new car in like 10 years, so this is a very nice treat for myself.

Hoping to send out a dossier complete email within the next week!!!!

Home Study Update

2008-12-18T09:31:00.002-06:00

It has finally made its way to Department of Children and Family Services in Springfield!!! So happy about that little development. I just want to be officially waiting. I can't stand the paper chase. I'm too impatient for this sort of thing.

On another note, I wish I knew for sure what was going on with singles in ET. My agency tells me not to worry but it's hard not to. I just can't understand how a rule applies to one agency but not another.

Oh well, I have decided to continue down this path until someone tells me no directly. Lets keep our fingers crossed for dossier submission during the first week of January 09!!

I also am going to get a new car. I tell myself it is for baby, but I'm just lying. I have have the same car for the last 8 years and it's time for a change. I'm going to be an ugly american and get an SUV. But I don't drive to work, so don't think I have no concern for our planet. I put about 5000 miles a year on a car, so my carbon output won't be that bad with an SUV. I'm trying to decide between the lexus or bmw. BMW has an awesome service plan, so I'm leaning that way as of now.

Well Meaning AAWomen and Hair

2008-12-17T18:09:00.005-06:00

Okay,

I am pissed. I was bored today and looking at every blog I could find. I should have been working but I was blog watching instead. So, to what pissed me off. WELL MEANING BLACK WOMEN!!!! I have come to hate that term. I find it used often on blogs where there is a white family who has adopted a black child and it's usually in reference to hair discussions.

At first, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I'm not one to allow ppl in my business so I could understand the sentiment. But then it was repeated on so many blogs that it started to sound to me more like the women were saying "this black B had the nerve to walk up to me and talk to me about my kid's hair". Some of these ppl have no problem with white folks coming up to them and asking them about their adoption but hair discussions are oh so offensive!!!!

Then I started to calm down and think maybe they don't know. They have read hair books, learned to corn roll, and combed a five year old black girls hair so they think they know. THEY HAVE NO IDEA!!! They have no clue what it means to walk thru this country and have your attributes continually and not always subtlely put down. They have no idea what it means to have black hair. I mean it's oh so cute to braid and all that, but what about when that girl is 13 and her haird doesn't do what the white girls in class can do? They don't know that braids that are cute at 4 are just some baby mess at 12. They have no idea what it takes to figure out what to do with the hair once it's out of braids and everything you try doesn't look right.

They have no idea that it took hundreds of years for us to learn what works for our hair and how to find value in our own beauty when society at large tells you that you and your hair are ugly. They don't know about the sistas in the test kitchens mastering the conk and sacrificing plugs of hair. They don't know that as a teenager there will be kids who think it's the nastiest thing they have ever heard when you tell them you wash your hair once a week. They have never seen products that you have relied on and loved fail you, and then you can't find replacements. They don't know that the hair that has been on top of your head your whole like can change and you have to fight to get it back. They don't know that this happens for natural and relaxed sistas.

Or maye this is my own ignorance? Do white women have such extensive hair issues? Do they struggle like me and I don't know it? They talk about washing their own hair (which is something I haven't done in years) and I think wow I wish my hair was that easy to manage. But maybe they have a different set of hair stuff going on that I don't know about. Are htey like me and have to wear a scarf every night? Do they talk with their friends about when you let a new man see you in your scarf?

But more than all of that,they don't know that hair is something that black women discuss. They are being offered an entry into that world becuase a sista sees a baby sista and talks to her mom about her hair. They don't know that we do that all the time with each other. I have approached and been approached about who does my hair. I have seen a sista at the mall with a style and shine that I want to rock and I've asked what she uses. I have had others offer suggestions when they saw my hair line receding or my ends all split off. We have walked this path and discuss it freely. Of course everyone has an opinion that you may not agree with, but that's life. You can take it or leave it. My own hair dresser lectures me about going natural and I ignore her once a week as she talks and blow drys my relaxed hair.

My goddaughter and her mom were in the store and a black woman came up to them and suggested a shining product to her for baby. My friend, who is black, just chatted for a minute and went on about her business. No one thought anything of it. Our hair has ups and downs and we look to each other for assistance. Some we take and some we ignore.

Like the majority of women I know, i have had a standing appt at the hair dresser every week since i got my first job. Yes, it's that serious. I know sistas who won't pay a bill before they cancel that hair appt. India Arie had ot make a song saying she released being defined by her hair. She didn't do so because it was a catchy tune, she did it because hair is a big deal for black women.

So the next time you dismiss that "well meaning AA" when she talks to you about your child's hair you may want to reconsider. Doing a few braids ain't nothing like wearing the mane day in and day out. Don't get it twisted.

Okay that's my rant. I'm such an even tempered person, but that mess was a little too much for me today.

Maybe I'll have more perspective tomorrow. Maybe I'm just being hyper sensitive tonight.

What do you think blog world? Am I upset for nothing? Is "well meaning AA" woman respectful or wack?

Back from Hiatus

2008-12-04T14:41:00.003-06:00

Hi All,

Well, we had quite a little scare last month, but I think I feel confident enough to hope that Eden/Aden will be coming home in 2009. I don't have the energy to discuss, but there seem to be changes in the future for ET and single adoptions. At this point, it's not confirmed what they will be, but last month I thought they meant that I would not have ET as an option. My agency has assured me that is not the case and I have decided to have a little faith. The head of the agency has been in ET for this past week and has only sent back good news thus far.

I still have no homestudy. Trying to hurry that process along. A fellow blogger, Robbin, has passed on a contact that may help me move my homestudy out of DCFS faster than I had originally thought. Thanks Girl!!

I have slowed down big time on shopping for Aden. The idea of never using her nursery was heart wrenching.

Not much going on with me outside of that. Will be sure to update as soon as I get more info about the homestudy. I would love to be officially waiting by the end of the year.

Hiatus for a Bit

2008-11-18T15:01:00.003-06:00

Hi All,

There seems to be some potentially disturbing news regarding my ability to adopt in Ethiopia. At this point, I'm waiting for my agency rep to speak with MOWA to confirm some very disturbing news that is coming out of Ethiopia. If this news is in fact true, I am not sure if/how I will be proceeding with my adoption from Ethiopia.

It was fun to enter the world of blogging, and I wish everyone well on their journey. A part of me is hopeful that this somehow resolves itself, but I'm not anticipating that happening.

Signing off for now....trice

Christening Gown

2008-11-12T12:42:00.003-06:00

Hi All,

Nothing new to report. Still in the paperchase. Hoping that all my docs will be approved and off to Springfield by the 20th. I can't believe IL has that stupid rule about approval from DCFS before it can be sent to my agency. What can you do?

I have my fingerprint appt with customs this afternoon. I almost forgto about it. Lucky I dind't have any appts scheduled at work.

I went shopping with my GF Kourtney yesterday. I was supposed to look for winter accesories but ended up buying Eden a Christening gown. I love her gown. I went to the site for the manufacturer and her dress was $300 less than what buying direct cost. I LOVE MARSHALLS!!!! Kourtney hates discount stores but she was a good sport. I just can't understand how someone could hate the thrill of the hunt and the rush of the capture when you find that hidden gem.

Isn't the dress too cute?

Home Study Visit

2008-11-07T14:50:00.002-06:00

Hi All,

I had my homestudy visit on election day. Visit went fine. She spent about 4 minutes looking around the house. Really not that big of a deal.

Later that evening I hung out with my family and watched history. I never in my lifetime thought a black man would be president. It's overwhelming. Black women have become caricatures on TV and it's just so great to have a first lady who is a black woman. I can barely watch TV with a black female character. They are all either fat, lazy and loud or the biggest bitches you have ever met. I'm like do you really think that a whole group of women can be put into two stereotypical and unfair character types?

Oh well, here's hoping that the homestudy is complete by mid December.

Table 52

2008-11-03T11:41:00.002-06:00

Well, the boy and I went there to celebrate my Bday. There's a lot of hype because it's an Oprah thing, but I wasn't all that impressed. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the meal, but don't get why there is a three month wait.

I have to go to fed court on Wednesday!!! Not looking forward to that, I always forget something or say something wrong when I'm there. It's just so intimidating that I feel like a law student when I'm there. Hope it goes better this time around.

Homestudy visit tomorrow, will be sure to update....

My Bday is This Week

2008-10-27T15:01:00.003-05:00

Celebrating my bday this week. I found this pic from my bday about five years ago when I was still hanging at clubs and thinking me and my girls were too cute. Now I can't even stay awake pass two a.m.

In Public in Addis

2008-10-24T09:08:00.003-05:00

Someone posted this today about not going in public with your adopted child. I'm sure it's very upsetting for some of the people who live there, and understand that it has to be limited. My friend went to China and she thought it was alarming to see so many Caucasian couples walking around with Chinesse children. She thought it was really sad that China wasn't doing more to take care of its own. I could see the ppl of Ethiopia feeling the same way and souring towards adoption.

October 22, 2008
Joint Council Policy Recommendation
Cultural Sensitivity Regarding Adoptions in Ethiopia

Every adoption is like a rollercoaster for the adoptive parents. There are always obstacles to overcome and hoops to jump through. But in every adoption there are also many highs. For most adoptive parents the biggest high is finally being able to travel, meet the child whose photo you fell in love with long ago, and holding them in your arms. It is the moment that every adoptive parent longs for and dreams of. Adoptive parents want to spend every moment with their new child, learning every little piece of their personality and spirit. Adoptive parents want to show their new child(ren) everything that the world has to offer them. This being said sometimes it is necessary for an adoptive family to be respectful of a country’s local culture and hold off these magical moments for a few days. Joint Council feels that this is the case in Ethiopia.Very often adoptive families stay at an international, national or local hotel in Addis Ababa. And fulfilling their long held desires, families often bring their newly adopted child to the hotel during their stay in Ethiopia.. Many times the adoptive family also goes shopping or sightseeing in Addis Ababa or another local city or village.This overriding desire, which is very normal and certainly understandable, often results in unintended cultural insensitivity to the Ethiopian government and citizens. With over 3,000 adoptions expected in Ethiopia this year, hotels and other common gathering places such as shopping areas often see relatively large numbers of families with their newly adopted Ethiopian child.Given that the vast majority of American and European families adopting from Ethiopia are Caucasian or other non-black, the adoptive families and their Ethiopian child are easily distinguished and are often a point of curiosity among Ethiopian citizens. Understandably, due to misconceptions about adoption some Ethiopian citizens even look upon American and European adoptive families with suspicion. Cultural differences in parenting and child behavior are contributing to this suspicion.The large number of adoptive families combined with the curiosity and suspicions of Ethiopian citizens and with cultural differences in parenting and child behavior, is unfortunately causing unintended yet very significant concerns among some Ethiopian citizens and the government. Subsequently these unintended consequences are weakening the work and services being provided in order to ensure permanent families for the children of Ethiopia. Without exaggeration, this may lead to the elimination of intercountry adoption as an option for ensuring that every Ethiopian child has a safe, permanent and loving family.During Joint Council’s trips to Ethiopia in June and July, concerns regarding the large numbers of adoptive families, including the Ethiopian child, staying at hotels and traveling throughout the city were expressed repeatedly by the Ethiopian government. Significant numbers of Ethiopian citizens have contacted the government with questions and more significantly with complaints.During a Joint Council presentation to adoption service providers from the United States, Italy and France, Joint Council addressed the very important issue of cultural sensitivities. All adoption service providers were strongly urged to refrain from utilizing hotels and restricting in-city travel for adoptive families. Supporting Joint Council’s recommendation was the Network (a large association of adoption service providers in Ethiopia).Most adoption service providers that recognized the issue of cultural sensitivity are following the recommendation. In fact some have instituted cultural sensitivity policies regarding lodging and in-city travel prior to the Joint Council recommendation. For example, increasing numbers of adoption service providers have established private guesthouses for adoptive families. Unfortunately not all adoption service providers have chosen to be proactive and implement cultural sensitivity policies. Just as unfortunately, many adoptive parents are insisting on staying at hotels and going shopping in Addis Ababa despite repeated requests from their adoption service provider, reputable advocates such as the Network and the Ethiopian government.It is essential that adoptive parents and adoption service providers demonstrate respect for the country in which they are respectively adopting and working. Without demonstrating respect for the country and its people, the adoptive family is in turn disregarding the culture of their child(ren). Similarly the adoption service provider is disrespecting the children they seek to serve.It is for these reasons and more that we urge adoption service providers to encourage adoptive parent to please refrain from staying in hotels and venturing out in public with their newly adoptive children. With respectful deference to cultural sensitivities in Ethiopia, to the Government of Ethiopia, and to the people of Ethiopia, Joint Council strongly urges all adoption service providers to immediately implement policies which incorporate the following principles. Adoptive parents are similarly requested to respect their child(ren), their birth country and culture and abide by the following principles and the policies of their adoption service provider.Cultural Sensitivity Principles and GuidelinesPrinciples1. All due care must be given to demonstrate cultural sensitivities towards the country, people and government of Ethiopia2. Full recognition of the questions, concerns, curiosities and suspicions must be given to the Government of Ethiopia and its citizens3. It is recognized that adopting an Ethiopian child is a ‘privilege of giving’ bestowed by the citizens and government of Ethiopia4. It is recognized that every Ethiopian child has a right to a family - every family does not have an inherent right to an Ethiopian child5. Actions and behaviors which may not appear to be offensive to U.S. adoptive parents, may in fact be extremely offensive to Ethiopian society6. Actions and behaviors seen as culturally insensitive damage the institution of intercountry adoption and thereby limit opportunities for children in need to find a family7. Actions and behaviors seen as culturally insensitive significantly contribute to the possible elimination of intercountry adoption in Ethiopia and thereby eliminate the right of every Ethiopian child to a safe, permanent and loving familyGuidelines1. Adoption service providers will incorporate these principles and guidelines into their contractual or policy relationships with potential adoptive families2. Adoption service providers will disclose the contractual or policy limitations related to cultural sensitivities to all prospective adoptive parents prior to approving an application from the prospective adoptive parents3. Prior to taking custody of their adopted Ethiopian child, adoptive families may reside in a hotel during their staya. It is recommended that adoptive families utilize Ethiopian Guest Houses or a lodging facility operated by an adoption service provider during their entire stay in Ethiopiab. Adoptive families who have not taken full custody of their adopted Ethiopian child may choose to utilize a hoteli. In such cases the adoptive parents may visit their adopted Ethiopian child daily at the child care center4. Upon taking custody of their adopted Ethiopian child, adoptive families will utilize Ethiopian Guest Houses or a lodging facility operated by an adoption service provider5. Adoptive families will refrain from in-country travel with their adopted Ethiopian childa. Exceptions to this guideline (#5) are limited toi. The visa appointment at the U.S. Embassyii. Other adoption related eventsiii. An emergency situation6. Adoptive families will refrain from pressuring their adoption service provider or in-country staff to violate these principles, guidelines and/or agency polices representing these principles and guidelines

I'm in the News!!!

2008-10-22T12:02:00.003-05:00

Well my trial is at least!!!! It's so cool to have a news article to show off!!! I'm a govt attorney so they can't print my name without permission from DC, but it's still cool to know it was me who tried the case.....

Here's the article...

NLRB orders nurses rehired at Oak Lawn nursing home

October 17, 2008
BY MIKE NOLAN Staff writer
The owner of an Oak Lawn nursing home has been ordered to rehire three nurses fired earlier this year after they backed a union's efforts to organize employees at the facility.
A National Labor Relations Board administrative law judge also ordered Regal Health and Rehabilitation Center to begin contract negotiations with the Service Employees International Union.
Michael Lerner, president of GEM Healthcare, which operates Regal, said Thursday he would appeal the NLRB decision, which was released earlier this week.
The judge agreed with the union's assertions that Regal supervisors interrogated employees about union activities, threatened to blackball workers who engaged in union activities and unfairly fired three nurses because they supported the union's organizing efforts. Some employees were promised rewards if they spied on pro-union workers, according to the judge's decision.
The judge ordered that a notice spelling out key points of the ruling be posted inside the nursing home at 9525 S. Mayfield.
Lerner denied that workers were dismissed because of organizing activities.
"Absolutely not," he said.
At hearings earlier this year in Chicago on the union's charges, one nurse who was ultimately fired said her supervisor threatened her with termination if she joined SEIU. The supervisor told her that Lerner "would not tolerate the union and that anyone involved in the union would be terminated," according to the judge's decision.
The employees were fired in January and March, and the NLRB judge ordered Regal to reimburse them for any loss of earnings "suffered as a result of the discriminatory discharges

Statement of Reasons to Adopt

2008-10-21T16:31:00.003-05:00

I completed mine. I thought it would be hard to write, but I finished and then had to shorten it to keep it on one page. Not sure if the agency will have edits, but I think it turned out well.

Today there was a bit of bickering on my adoption board. I backed out of it very quickly. I have to get over the feeling that because I'm single I should just be grateful that they accepted me. I don't want to rock the boat and have them say no because of it.

Don't get me wrong, my agency is great and have never done anything to make me feel this way, I just think all of those "no singles" i got from the domestic folks has made me overly appreciative of someone who said "yes". If that makes sense at all?

Mobile

2008-10-20T15:21:00.002-05:00

Okay, I told myself I wouldn't do this, but I just couldn't resist. I purchased this mobile for Eden. It's so cute with her butterfly theme. I have to get things under control with the shopping. I set a budget, and I think I will stay under it, but it's so hard to keep track. These things just keep being delivered from Ebay and sometimes I don't even know how they got to my house :).

I WON

2008-10-17T11:58:00.002-05:00

I just found out that I won a huge trial. The judge's decision was 71 pages, so that gives you some idea of how big a case this was. It lasted 6 days!!!!

The case involved a group of nurses who were fired for trying to start a union. They were all very excited to learn that they will soon return to work.

As for Eden, nothing new to report. I'm just in the paperchas and hoping that things go smoothly.

Revised Birth Certificate

2008-10-14T17:03:00.002-05:00

The revised certificate finally arrived!!!!! Very happy that I can send in the i600 application tomorrow. Things are finally moving along. I still have at least two months before homestuday approval, but at least there is finally some movement.

2nd Home Study

2008-10-14T16:56:00.002-05:00

The visit went well. She took a little background info and we discussed the expected completion date. It's looking like late December. The actual home visit will be on November 4th.

I finally ordered something from mamabargains, thanks for the heads up tami!!! I ordered a Jessica Messenger bag and saved about one hundred bucks. I really love a good deal. I have to relax on the spending though, the visa bill was not pretty this month.

Black Catholics

2008-10-12T19:00:00.002-05:00

Last night I went to a small dinner for young black catholics and it was really nice. I met a woman who is doing a fellowship in pediatric infectious diseases. She and I ended up talking for about two hours. She volunteered to review Eden's medical report. I'm going to pay someone to look over the docs, but it's nice to have a second opinion as well. Apparently, there are only about one hundred docs who are in her specialty.

She and I got into a long discussion about innoculations and autism. I'm nervous about innocs but I also believe that we are responsible for oursleves and each other. I would never forego innoculations but I will do a revised schedule that does not combine the MMR. The new doc friend was telling me horror stories that she runs across from those who don't innoculate. Anyway, it was nice to pick the brain of an expert for two hours.

I have my second homestudy visit on Tuesday and I still do not have the birth certificate. I will call again on Monday, this is so frustrating.

One more

2008-10-06T22:54:00.002-05:00

here's the other side of her nursery...i live in an old chicago house so the rooms aren't that big...

my baby pic

2008-10-06T22:46:00.005-05:00

here's my baby pic that i'm posting according to robbin's tag request...i just snapped them with the camera so they're not great.....i think i was around 6 months but not really sure...i sort of look the same...

nursery pic

2008-10-06T21:58:00.003-05:00

Here's the first one. Tons more to do, but you get the basic idea....

Update and Tag

2008-10-06T10:52:00.002-05:00

Okay,

Looks like I have all my ducks in a row. Signed up for my adoption training. Have my next homestudy appt scheduled. My social worker is Tara withLuther Child and Family Services. She's a total sweetie and very organized. I'm really happy with the work she has done on my file. Only two more sessions and the homestudy should be complete. Tara says that Illinois has a crazy rule that all homestudies must be approved by Springfield before approval. That adds an additional month to the timeline before I'm on the waitlist. UUUHHHHHH!!!!

Eden's room is just too cute. I put her bedding on the crib, couldn't help myself. Will have to post pics soon.

I was tagged by Robbin, so here goes......

Okay so of course I get to "pay it forward" and tag me some other folks, here are the rules
1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random facts about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the taggers know when your entry is up.
So I tag the following people

1. I eat cookies/dessert EVERY night.
2. My favorite color is blue but I don't own many blue clothes.
3. I'm an only child.
4. I have about 3 best friends.
5. I've been trying to grow my hair back, but it's taking forever.
6. My favorite hobby is reading.

Okay, I'm not much of blogger so I don't have anyone to tag, but I did enjoy playing. Will get a baby pic up as well

2008-09-30T16:16:00.003-05:00

Kourtney sent me the following info for an organization that unites ET-A kids in the chicagoland area, and supports adopted families in maintaining their kids' cultural heritage. If things work out, I will for sure become a member and hope that this is an organization that Eden and I can be a part of. Here is the link and some information about them......

Thanks Kourtney!!!

http://www.ethiopiankids.net/page8.php

Welcome
Selam! The Ethio-American Kids Community, a tax-exempt 501(c)(3) organization, exists to develop and support opportunities for cultural and educational exchanges and social networking between Americans, Ethiopians and Ethio-Americans. We provide support for pre- and post-adoptive American families of Ethiopian children. We offer volunteer and service opportunities that impact our Ethio-American community and Ethiopia directly. We strive to keep the Ethiopian culture and the Ethio-American community vibrant and welcoming to all by sponsoring an annual summer culture camp and year-round holiday and cultural gatherings and social networking.We always enjoy meeting new families! Feel free to contact us for more information about our activities, organization, and Ethiopian adoption.

Doc Appt

2008-09-30T16:10:00.002-05:00

I went to the doctor last night for my homestudy physical. The doctor filled out the form very quickly. I'm hoping he got everything on there that they wanted. He's a sweetheart. He actually is considering adopting a child from a 3rd world country. He wants me to bring Eden by when she comes home.

I have my appt with the SW in two days. Will be glad to get that process started. I still haven't been able to move on my i600 form. No way of knowing when my updated birth certificate will arrive.

I LOVE THE ROOM COLOR!!!!! I can't wait until everything is set up so that I can post a pic.

On sunday, I went to BRU with my friend Kourtney and I picked up her crib and changing table. I will start to work on putting that stuff together this weekend. I just need that birth certificate to make its way here........

Barbie Doll - AKA

2008-09-26T10:20:00.003-05:00

I'm a member of the best and oldest sorority for AA women!!!! The fantastic ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha were honored with the first ever sorority Barbie to celebrate our 100 year anniversary!!! I ordered Eden's Barbie today. The doll is constantly on back order. And Mattell thought that she might not sell!!! Find out what we care about and you'll see that you can't make enough of them.....

...

A Real Sorority Doll Who's Pretty in Pink -- and GreenAlpha Kappa Alpha's newest pledge is Barbie, wearing a gown in the sorority's colors of pink and green. The doll was unveiled at the group's centennial. (Courtesy Of Mattel) Yesterday, thousands of members of Alpha Kappa Alpha, the country's oldest black sorority, attended a public meeting that ended with the unveiling of the AKA Centennial Barbie doll. The sorority was founded at Howard University. "She's absolutely beautiful," said Jenea Stewart, 30, an AKA member from St. Louis. "It's something that can be passed down through the generations, from mother to daughter." Barbie has taken on many manifestations over the years, but this is the first time there is a Barbie to honor a sorority. Although the doll is a fun way to commemorate AKA's centennial, it also has a serious undertone, said Barbara A. McKinzie, the sorority's international president. She recalled that in the 1940s, psychologists used identically dressed black and white dolls to test black children's race perceptions and preferences. The majority of them preferred the white doll, saying it was better. The study was cited in the landmark Brown v. Board of Education desegregation decision of 1954. McKinzie said that, even today, some black children suffer from inferiority complexes. "What a wonderful idea to take a known icon in our society and have the doll look like us," McKinzie said. "It's a way of educating the issue." For AKA members, the timing could not be better. "Barbie has been through so many different stages of history," said Deidra Powell, a member from Sacramento. "It's so appropriate to pick Barbie at this time in our history." One sorority sister, though, has a wish for the future. "It would be nice to have a full-figured Barbie," said Nichole Lyles, 29, of St. Louis. "But she's coming soon, I'm sure. Before a hundred years are up." The doll, which will sell for $50, will be available soon at http://www.barbiecollector.com/. »

Bed Set and Chair

2008-09-26T09:54:00.003-05:00

Here's the bedding and chair that I got for Eden's room. The chair has a pink slipcover. I got it from walmart, so much cheaper than other places, and put it together last night. I usually don't like put together furniture, but this one turned out to be very nice. I have 20% coupons from BRU for this weekend. After that, I will wrap up my major item purchases. So happy that I will have all of those expenses out of the way. I wil have a shower for clothes and cute extras, because I don't buy that kind of stuff. My BF says that will all change when I have a pic and know her size. I'm finally starting to not feel so overwhelmed. When I was told my travel date would probably be in March, I was in a panic, but now that i have the basics sqaured away things are leveling off.

FINALLY!!!

2008-09-25T09:35:00.000-05:00

My application finally arrived at BFAS. I can't believe it took over a week. I have learned my lesson, no more regular mail for me.

On another note, the man I'm having paint has become a bit of a stalker. He finds an excuse to stop by every day. He's a nice guy, but why can't a single woman hire a man to complete a project without him thinking you were just a desperate spinster waiting for him to save you? It's really annoying because I thought he was such a cool guy to hire for projects around the house. Not worth it, if I have to deal with a non-stop pest.

I won my car seat on ebay. Got it for $220 and I think it's adorable.

Car Seat

2008-09-25T09:29:00.003-05:00

Eden's Chandelier

2008-09-24T14:21:00.004-05:00

I'm having it hung tonight. I just love it!!! Think it will be too cute with her Tiffany walls. I know, it's very girlie, but what can you do?

Reading Material

2008-09-24T10:21:00.002-05:00

Currently reading "There Is No Me Without You" by Melissa Fay Greene. The book is very well written, and tells the story of a woman's attempt to save orphaned children in Ethiopia. I'm also reading a few infant care books. I had been reading so much about the history of ET that it struck me one day that I probably need to make sure I know all of the current child rearing methods.

I'm an only child, but I have a large family and have been taking care of babies forever. However, my family is a little old school, so I want to compare what I've learned from them with all of the "new fanlged" things that are out there. I'm not someoen who believes all that our elders did was wrong, so I plan on raising my little one with a combinaiton of wisdom from my elders and knowledge from my own generation.

As for fun stuff, I'm in the process of having Eden's room painted and her light fixture hung. Should have that accomplished by Saturday and will be sure to post a pic. I'm painting her walls Tiffany Blue. I hope it turns out well.

Paper Chase

2008-09-24T10:00:00.003-05:00

Right now I'm waiting for a corrected birth certificate before I can file my I600 forms. Long story short, my mom had me at 15 and her mom filed out the birth certificate. Somehow, my grandma wanted to make my mom believe that she had given me her name instead of the name my mother had chosen. My grandma forgot that she was just waiting for my mom's reaction and never actually put any name on the birth certificate. None of this would have mattered except those nit picky customs officials require a NAME on official govt records. :) My grandma passed away when I was 14, but she was a bit of a pistol. I sent off for an expedited record and hope to have it next week.

I sent my app to BFAS on the 15th and they say they haven't gotten it as of yet. Very nervous about that. Going to give it one more day and then I'll resend the documents certified. I'm a bit of a miser and that gets me in trouble all the time. I should have sent them certified in the first place. Well, hindsight is 20/20.

First Attempt At Blogging

2008-09-24T09:21:00.000-05:00

Okay,

I never in the world thought I would blog. NEVER!!! But this whole adoption process is driving me crazy and I need to let it out.

I have been reading blogs and have been so inspired by the journey of others that I thought I would give this a shot.

I am currently in the process of adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. Her name will be Eden (the land where life began/Ethiopia) and Carol for my mom who passed away in a car accident five years ago.

So far I'm starting my paper chase. First home study interview on Oct. 2nd. Application sent to Better Future Adoption Services (thanks Robbin for the recommendation).