Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Shocked

I have been a little surprised with the responses I have received about my last post, both public and private. I didn't know there were so many of us out there!!

I can tell you all who think that I have lost my mind, that I have in fact found it. I have reconnected with the little girl who survived one of the poorest ghettos in Chicago, and that doesn't happen by being afraid. I have explained to the necessary parties, that I will say whatever I want, wherver and to whomever I want. I will also inquire about any policy or procedure that I feel like in whatvr forum I choose. I am fully prepared to deal with whatever occurs from that decision. But I refuse to continue to live like this. I have made it clear that I have certain expectations, which are not unreasonable, and I expect them to be met. If you want to play with the big boys, you have to deliver like the big boys.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

When does getting what you want mean that you have given up who you are?

Hi Blog World,

It has been so long since we have talked. I think that I have had nothing to say, because I have not been me. I allowed myself to continue down a path that I never imagined setting foot on, let alone walk with ignorance and fear.

Have you ever just wanted something so badly that you don't care how it comes to you? But there is a reason for the rules. As a federal attorney, I always have to be extra diligent that I follow those rules. There are things that I can not be involved in or even have knowledge of.

I have been afraid. I can't believe I am saying those words, but they are true. WHat's worse, I have been afraid of standing up for me and what I believe in. That is the saddest place a person can be. I am usually confident, proud and stubborn. So much so, that I may have to spend time in purgatory for those weaknesses. But it's who I am and I have always been proud of who I am. But not for these last few months.

I have allowed my desire for something to cloud my vision and blur my lines between right and wrong. NO MORE!!! It's time I returned to being a member of the Court and someone who has sworn to uphold the laws of this Government.